Wishing I was with you
by omg kairi
Summary: Rated PG-13 for attempts at Suicide. Kairi and Sora have been seperated for the last two years, while Sora struggles to keep all hope alive, and make up for lost ground, Kairi dwells on Sora's promise to her. Please R&R! ***Chapter 6 is finally up***
1. Feelings

Time for me to go all depressing on myself. I'm going from Kairi's POV and Sora's, half and half. Yep Yep. This fic is PG-13 for suicide issues/attempts, swearing, I might add a little bit of non- descriptive...uh...relationship issues in later chapters. Enjoy my good friends!^^  
  
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~*Kairi*~  
  
Sometimes when I'm lonely, I pretend Sora's here with me. He tells me about his adventures, about his friends. It's really nice. And other times when I feel sad, he tells me how much he misses me, and how much he loves me. But then I wake up. I stop living in my happy-go-lucky kiddie world. And I grow up. Sora isn't coming back. I'm sure he found some slut to keep him company, some pretty girl willing to give in to his every little whim. I sit in our secret spot, and I stare at the door for hours. As if he'll suddenly appear.  
  
I'm So Immature...  
  
Why would he come back?  
  
He doesn't miss me...  
  
Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka always try to make me feel better, they think they are so great, that they can suddenly make my whole life better by saying some sappy words, and trying to make me play some childish game with them. Well they're right. If I ddin't have them, I probably wouldn't be able to keep myself sane. I'd thank them, if they understood.  
  
Sometimes I can hear Riku, saying something like:  
  
"Sora, bet I can beat you to the other side of the island!"  
  
I miss him too. Riku was my best friend. He was always there for me. He might not have always made the right choices. But it was for what he thought was a good cause, his heart was too weak that's all. He was Sora's best friend. And if that didn't bother Sora, there was no way it'd bother me.  
  
Sora...  
  
I wish He was here...  
  
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~*Sora*~  
  
Everyday it's the same think I wake up, think about Kairi, kill people, while thinking of Kairi, eat, while thinking of Kairi, then I go to sleep, and guess what else. I think of Kairi. She's the first thing I think of one I wake up, and the last thing before I go to sleep.  
  
I'm obsessive...  
  
I need to stop thinking of her.  
  
I'd bet anything Riku's with her now anyways...  
  
Riku, He did everything wrong and still had so much.  
  
He was the true keyblade master.  
  
He spent a lot of time with Kairi.  
  
He's probably with her right now.  
  
Damn him. He's so lucky, and I'm sure he doesn't dwell on everything he wants like I do. I'm sure his thoughts of Kairi aren't the only things that keep him alive, the only things the he has left.  
  
He has so much...  
  
He takes everything for granted.  
  
If he does have Kairi...  
  
He better not be taking her for granted!  
  
No, he wouldn't do that.  
  
How about Tidus?  
  
What if he has Kairi?  
  
Or, or...Wakka?  
  
Or someone else...  
  
No...no, I have to think positive.  
  
She's waiting for me,  
  
she's waiting for me...She's...  
  
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So.....How is it? Do you like it? I'm trying but I have to act all...Deep. Eh, It's so hard. 


	2. Hurt

Ok, I promise to slow down and explain everything more, desricptive and stuff, and... I'll make way longer chapters.  
  
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~*Kairi*~  
  
Here I am. Once again, in my little cave waiting for prince charming to walk through the door and sweep me off my feet...again. Everyday that he is gone, is like a million years without him. I wish he'd just suddenly fall from the sky, and come to me, but just because I wish it, or dream it doesn't mean it'll happen. I feel so sick, sitting here, day after day after day, thinking of Sora, he'll probably never come back to me, even if he wanted to. I'll just be waiting for nothing forever, even if I do love him, I shouldn't wait here forever...  
  
Should I?  
  
I'm so confused, if he cares for me, why hasn't he come back? If he loves me why is he hurting me like this? Why? Why? WHY?  
  
Maybe he's trying to get back.  
  
Maybe...Maybe we'll one day be together again, happily, with Riku too, and even Wakka, and Selphie, and Tidus.  
  
Oh, and Donald and Goofy. They're so cute, and Sora seemed so fond of them, they went on adventures together, they saved me together, and I remember... When Sora became a heartless he looked so cute, and when I brought him back he held me so tight that I was up against him, he smelled so good, if I could do it again I would, and sharing Sora's bdy with his heart was fun to, to know what he was thinking, feeling, and being able to alter his mind so he'd think I was with him when I wasn't.  
  
Hehe, Sora...that lazy bum, I wonder what he's doing now?  
  
Wait...I hear something, someone's coming. It's just Wakka.  
  
"Hey Kairi...um...bad news...don't..know..how..to" He mumbles  
  
Oh please just get on with it already.  
  
"Sora's dead."  
  
...  
  
no...  
  
It feels like my heart just broke, the beating stopped,, and everything is going out, every light.  
  
Knife, a knife, I need a knife,  
  
ah, now if he's really dead I'll be joining him soon.  
  
I placed the cold metal blade to my wrist and gently scratched the surface, not enough to hurt me, or cut me, just so I could get the feel, besides, now I have to go through a moment of think of all the reasons why I shouldn't do it.  
  
Maybe it's a joke how would he find out anyways?  
  
Oh well, moment's up here we go.  
  
I felt the blade rip my vain and a pool of blood poured out.  
  
Eh, I felt the tears stream down my face, it hurts so bad...  
  
What if he's alive...and I'm dead....  
  
Who am I kidding, I'm dead to him anyway...  
  
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~*Sora*~  
  
I wonder if she misses me, if she ever thinks about me, or if she ever feels anything I do. I wish I could find that door, not that'd matter anyway, I couldn't go through it. I wonder where Donald and Goofy are, not that I really care....They were so quick to abandon me. Whateevr happened to the whole one heart thing, the friendship thang? All that good stuff, they totally went behind their word, how greedy of them. And when I said something about it, they'd say  
  
"Oh but the king.."  
  
King, yea, I found their king, he decided to stay in Kingdom Hearts and help Riku get home, he said he wouldn't be coming back, so why follow the Keyblade anyway? It wouldn't solve anything, they just wanted to get home. So do I, and if they wouldn't have left me, I could have regained all hope instead of just some....  
  
hope...  
  
I remember the day I gave up hope. The day I couldn't stand to live on a thread of nothing, in which I thought everything would one day be all right. Of course, I was silly to give up all hope, maybe just most would have been good enough, see when I gave up hope, it weakened me heart, and when my heart became weak I..  
  
I...  
  
Lost the keyblade. And without it, I can't open the door to the light.  
  
But If they would've stayed, I wouldn't be where I am, and neither would they, We'd all be together, I'd be their king, with Kairi at my side as their queen. It's such a nice Fantasy.  
  
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Ok, ok, it's not long still, but I tried to be more descriptive, hoped you liked it, R&R please!!!!! 


	3. secrets

I'm trying!!!!  
  
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~*Kairi*~  
  
I awoke inside of a very pink room, the beds covered in bright silk and the feather filled pillows, lifted my head lightly, I came to the conclusion that I was in Selphie's house, I figured she found me lying limp and blood dripping from my wrist so she took me back to her house. Although bandaged heavily, my wrist still hurts very badly, but I can take pain, almost dieing is nothing compared to what I've went through in the past. Sora's a bitch for leaving me, and breaking his promise. I raised my head to look around for Selphie and attempted to get up, but it was to no avail, I just fell back down on to the soft pink pillows and silk sheets of her bed.  
  
Hopefully Selphie will come back to check on me soon, it gets very boring in a house all alone, and it's not my house, and I can't get up, and I'm kinda hungry, hearing my own stomach growling.  
  
I turned my head to get a good look out of the window nesting my chin at the top of the pillow, hoping to see Selphie run up to the window andask me if I needed anything. The sun shined brightly into my eyes, which were still not fully used to the light in any part of the room yet, eventually my eyes were able to stare out into the ocean without any problems at all. My eyes wondered to every part of the deep blue that I could see, suddenly my vision became once again foggy, and I feel back to sleep.  
  
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~*Sora*~  
  
I looked around his dark gloomy chamber I call my home, it was always hard to fall asleep at night so sometimes I hold my breath 'til I pass out, otherwise, I'd never sleep.  
  
**Sora's Flashback/Dream**  
  
"Do you love Kairi?"  
  
King Mickey asked me, reaching out his hand to me, I told him I did, although I knew it was way more than that, he put his hand down,  
  
"I'm sorry, Sora, I'm not sure you'll be able to return to her,  
  
"But you told me there's a door to the light, back to my island, back with Kairi, and how about Riku? He's on his way there!" I had said, more like shouted, the truth was just to painful, but truth couldn't hurt my hope, it is too strong, I think, maybe I'm already giving up. "No, no, no!!! I can't lose Kairi, I love her, you don't understand king!!"  
  
"I understand Sora, I have to leave me loved ones also, to live the rest of my life in Kingdom Hearts, I understand more than you'll ever know." He said to me softly. "And that is why, I want to ask you to take over my job as King." He held out his hand to me again, I picked up my arm and stretched it out, contimplating on whether or not to except.  
  
"I...I can't except your offer King Mickey. I will....I promised Kairi I'd come back to her, and I will find a way." I put my arm back down, turned around and walked away , turning my back on King Mickey, his arm still outstretched. As I walked away I sobbed, no I cried, so hard it was unfit to call me a man. I missed Kairi with all of my heart, and the sad part was I'd never see her again.  
  
I cannot return to Kairi...  
  
**End Dream/Flashback***  
  
I rose in a deep sweat, this was the third night that I had this reaccuring dream...  
  
Maybe...  
  
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How is it? Sad, happy, gay? Have you wondered why I haven't told you where Sora is? And... I ended Kairi's part early because of a surprise next chapter. I need some reviews guys!!!!! 


	4. A horrible past

If you like Kairi, let me tell you I do too, but I'm going to give her a very very very hard time in this chapter. BorderborderborderborderborderBorderborderborderborderborderBorderborder ~*Kairi*~  
  
I lay in bed, not wanting to get up, but I would really like to go out and feel the warm breeze of the ocean against my skin. But instead I kept my eyes glued shut, of rather I had no choice, my eyes just didn't want to open, it hurt too much.  
  
"Kairi...  
  
... get up."  
  
That voice...  
  
I felt myself struggle to get up, but my body wasn't fully rested or healed for that matter.  
  
"It's ok, you're hurt, it slipped my mind, you, lay back down."  
  
Who are you? I felt a hand touch mine.  
  
"Your eyes."  
  
I slowly pushed my eyelids up, but no matter how hard I try I can only see darkness.  
  
"Kairi!!"  
  
The voice had suddenly become so harsh. It was scary. But..  
  
Why Can't I See?  
  
"You're eyes!"  
  
I could feel that my eyelids were up, but I still could see nothing, am I a heartless?  
  
"You're blind!!!!!"  
  
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~*Sora*~  
  
**Flashback 1**  
  
"What are you doing here, boy!?!?!?!"  
  
With a smirk Sora disappeared leaving the man before him shocked, that was before he re-appeared behind him and knocked him out with one hit. Sora looked down at him and saw a sword.  
  
"Just what I need." Sora picked it up and began running again toward the forbidden village.  
  
** End Flashback 2**  
  
I was becoming very bored with this hole in the wall I spent my days in. I drummed my fingers against the cold wall, what were they thinking?  
  
While I am locked away in this chamber, starving to death, something is happening out there, I can sense it, How can I get back to Kairi if she is dead? We'll all be heartless, I wish I had a say in that, I smashed my fist against the wall.  
  
Kairi....  
  
**Flashback 2**  
  
"Finally the gates to hell!!!!" Sora laughed as he entered the darkness before him.  
  
"The forbidden village, if I can't have the key blade...  
  
If I can't have Kairi...  
  
Maybe I can at least save everyone else, that would...  
  
Be enough"  
  
"There he is!!!"  
  
The shouts of 10 or 15 men and their leaders wasn't enough to scare Sora.  
  
FLASH  
  
Three of the men were down on their backsides, knocked out if not dead.  
  
The rest of the men, frightened, ran for their lives, scrambling to get away from Sora.  
  
Screaming...  
  
"The god of death has come!!"  
  
The leaders smirked.  
  
"He's just a boy."  
  
One of them said.  
  
"So he can fight, did your mommy show you that one."  
  
Sora frowned at their idiocy.  
  
He turned his sword so the blade reflected the light of nearby burning torches into their eyes.  
  
The screeched in pain.  
  
"Funny" Sora began. "How a boy, with training from his mother can take down a couple of grown men with a ray of light. This sword is nothing compared to what you carry with you, I guess it's not the sword it's the swordsmen."  
  
He threw the sword so it turned into a boomerang, and it slashed through the leaders, Sora once again used his speed to catch it. and turned away.  
  
One of the men moaned in pain, slightly surprised that he was still alive Sora said.  
  
"By the way my Grandmother taught me that."  
  
**End Flashback 2**  
  
Sora felt a tear flow down his face, how could he have become so heartless?  
  
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Yea, Kairi's was short again, but until I get more reviews I'm not going to make them longer!! And sorry is Sora's was confusing, 


	5. Riku

Ok, anyone wondering who that mysterious boy is, well you get to hear his story, yay! oh but, it's not from his POv it's from third person, sorry, But I'll only be doing that for the main characters. So anyways How about Sora, what's up with these flashbacks? This chapter is going to be looooooooooooong beware!  
  
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~*Kairi*~  
  
I was so scared a could barly scream, so instead I cried.  
  
"No Kairi don't cry." The voice said sweetly.  
  
The tears continued to roll silently down my face.  
  
A hand wiped them away softly, and grabbed her cheek massaging it with their thumb.  
  
"It's ok, I'm here for you."  
  
"Sora..." I whispered.  
  
"Sora...Is he here? Alive? I heard he was dead."  
  
The word dead once again hit me like a bunch of bricks.  
  
"He's not dead!!!" I heard myself try to yell, it came out as an inaudible yelp.  
  
God help me.  
  
Why was this happening to me?  
  
All I wanted was to live a happy life with Sora and Riku but all I get is hell.  
  
Riku...  
  
I didn't know I had said it outloud.  
  
"I'm right here." The voice said.  
  
"Riku?"  
  
"How?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why aren't you helping Sora!!" I whispered.  
  
"Sora sent me back, he wanted me to tell you, that'll he'll be back soon." I could tell Riku was lieing, but he made me feel better.  
  
I felt myself falling into another deep sleep.  
  
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~*Riku*~  
  
Riku watched Kairi fall back to sleep, he couldn't help but feel bad about lieing to her, but he was afraid the truth would kill her, being that she was already blind.  
  
He sighed, he remembered the day Sora lost his keyblade, he had just found out that he could never return to Kairi. Any hope that had survived his battles against the heartless and himself was lost and his heart was taken by darkness, he was evil enough to be a heartless himself, but there was one thing that kept him from that.  
  
Kairi.  
  
Sora went to the Village of Darkness, known also as The Forbidden Village. It earned those names because of the evil that lurks there. It was protected by the best warriors the worlds could find, yet Sora could kill all of them with his bare hands.  
  
Riku clenched his fists, Sora was always better than him at everything, and he even got Kairi's heart. Well, Not now, Sora is probably dead...  
  
"No, Sora is still my friend." He thought. But then he trailed back to when Sora got there.  
  
He killed off most of the guards, and he had done it showing no mercy. He had changed in a way that frightened Riku. Once he had reached the entrance he had murdered 75% of the guards, although the strongest were inside.  
  
That was when Riku had caught up to him.  
  
***Riku's flashback***  
  
"Sora!! What are you doing? Look at what you've become!"  
  
Sora turned slightly to see Riku and pulled out his sword.  
  
"What do you mean to do?" He asked simply. "Stop me?"  
  
"At any cost1" Riku answered.  
  
Sora laughed. "Weakling! You have no idea what you are messing with!"  
  
Riku stepped back a bit, this wasn't Sora. Sora was his friend. Riku pulled out his weapon.  
  
"You're forgetting that I still have a keyblade." Riku said.  
  
Sora smirked. "Ha!" He shouted and within an instant was gone.  
  
Riku looked around, there was no sign of him. Suddenly Riku felt a presence behind him and swung the keyblade around and it met with Sora's sword.  
  
Sora jumped back. "I should have known you wouldn't be a pushover." Sora disappeared again, but a second later he came at him from the front, Riku put the blade out defensivly but Sora disappeared. Riku suddenly felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. Sora had cut him.  
  
"Eh." Riku moaned. "Why didn't you kill me?"  
  
"Because, I can't kill my you, you are my friend after all."  
  
Sora took off again into the Village.  
  
"So you did remember." Riku ran slowly after him.  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
Riku looked out at the ocean.  
  
"I wonder where that boy is now, if he's alive..." Riku thought allowed.  
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~*Sora*~  
  
** Sora's Flashback **  
  
Sora ran into the Village, not knowing exactly what to expect. But even if he tried to think of what it was to look like his thoughts would never have come close. It was horrible, there was dead bodies hanging everywhere, people being tortured...Women being disgraced along with children. They made Ansem look like a saint. The smell of rotting flesh filled the air with a mixture of smoke.  
  
He put his arm up to his nose trying to keep the smell out, but it was no use.  
  
"You've finally made it." A dark voice said. "I suppose you are hear to use the door right?"  
  
"Of course, it's the only way i can get back to Kairi, and I'd do anything to get there." Sora said.  
  
"Anything?"  
  
Suddenly millions of dark figures reached out for Sora, grabbing, pinching, pulling, cutting, and what else.  
  
"Ah." Sora yelped as they pulled at his hair, He reached for his sword and began to cut but they out numbered him.  
  
Their cold hands pushed Sora to a fall and began to choke him.  
  
Just then a blade a keyblade to be exact cut at the figures freeing Sora. It was Riku.  
  
"Eh." Riku clutched at his shoulder.  
  
"You're going to help me? Even after I wounded you?"  
  
"What are friends for? Besides Kairi needs you."  
  
Sora blinked but once again began to cut at the arms.  
  
Suddenly the monsters and their arms pulled away at the cammand of the voice.  
  
"So you do have skill." The Dark Voice's owner emerged from the shadows. His hair was spikey, and the color was Sky blue with red tips. He wore a band around his forehead whcih was black. He also wore a Black gi. My name is Kalico. But not that it matters to you, you won't have to worry about names where you are going.  
  
Sora and Riku prepared to fight, but Riku was just blown tot he side and Kalico went for Sora.  
  
His sword ripped at Sora's skin, ripping every bit of flesh he had.  
  
"You're pretty tough, for a guard." Sora said before he slipped into a deep sleep.  
  
Riku watched as his friend fell to his knees and passed out.  
  
"This is my moment"  
  
He ran to the center of the city where a huge door lie. He slowly opened it and preparred to be aken home, by the light.  
  
Meanwhile, Sora was taken to a dark chamber, lightless, and made of stone. They tossed him inside like he was some sort of doll, hurt or not, they didn't care.  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
That's where I am still.  
  
That was nearly a month ago, They haven't even come to see if I'm alive so I can't even be sure that I am...  
  
Oh yea, I know I'm alive. If I was dreaming I'd make sure I was living off something other than rats.  
  
Wait...duh! Rats, they have to have some way to get in here, right? Maybe that's my way out...  
  
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Ok, So it's Riku, and now you finally know all of Sora's dark past, what's up with that boy? Will he get out?  
  
Lol, anyways, Review or Sora the Battousai'll get you, lol, j/k. 


	6. Always to the rescue

Dark Kairi here, I know it took me awhile but I've finally updated. ^-^  
  
This Chapter is only going to have Sora's POV, K? lol.  
  
READ AND REVIEW!!!  
  
The Dark One.  
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~*SORA*~  
  
I feel so stupid, rats don't just live off nothing!! They have to be getting food from somewhere right?  
  
Damn, so I've been living in this hell hole for the past couple of weeks for no reason, I could have died! Then I would never see Kairi again.  
  
Kairi...  
  
I tried to get up but I found myself struggling so I laid back.  
  
Damn it!  
  
Once again I found myself trying to get up, but this time I was able to at least stand.  
  
I began to feel around the walls as I also keeping my balance in the process, I checked the corners, every little crevice, every hole...  
  
Nothing.  
  
Wait....Every hole?  
  
I found my hands traveling back to the spot where I had just felt the small hole.  
  
There  
  
I bent my head down and looked to see if any light showed through it, but I couldn't see anything, just rats.  
  
Ah! I gasped and pulled back as one attempted to bite off my finger.  
  
Stupid rat, I felt the ground for a stick of some kind but only found some rocks, which I proceded to through at the rats.  
  
At that moment they began to scurry quickly out the other end of the holw, breaking off some of the already crumbling rock. A few minutes later there was now a good sized hole leading outside.  
  
How can I tell? Not that the rats are gone the light shows.  
  
With a new found hope I began chipping at the rock, trying to make the hole bigger. I succeeded in chipping the rough edges a bit, and scratching up my hand, wrist and part of my arm.  
  
Ok, let's see, I can't use any magic, this sucks.  
  
I give up.  
  
"Story of your life, eh?"  
  
Who's there? I shouted out to the shadows.  
  
I scoped out the darkness for the faintest trace of another person being there. But I can't find anyone.  
  
"What are you looking for?" The voice asked.  
  
So familair....  
  
Who Are you? I asked.  
  
"It's me Squall er Leon, I'm out here."  
  
Leon! I looked through the hole that I had just been working on, sure enough there was Leon.  
  
What are you doing in a place like this?  
  
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"  
  
Good point.  
  
"Well anyways I'm here to bust you out."  
  
Suddenly the wall began to crumble and fall to the ground. I could see outside again.  
  
"What was that?" A voice shouted in the distance.  
  
"Over here." A closer one answered.  
  
"Let's get out of here!" I felt Leon grab me and suddenly we were gone.  
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We arrived at Hallow Bastion. I faintly remembered fighting with Riku here, and finding Kairi.  
  
"Feeling ok kid?" Leon asked putting me down.  
  
I think. I tried to stand but feel to the ground.  
  
"Ah, you need some rest, on a real bed, and we'll have to heal you. But first, you need to eat."  
  
Food. I haven't eaten in awhile...A few weeks.  
  
"Well then, the sooner the better then."  
  
Hey Leon?  
  
"Yea."  
  
Are the worlds connected again?  
  
"..."  
  
Leo...  
  
"I'm sorry Sora, they are not."  
  
Then how'd you come to get me?  
  
"The forbidden village is a part of every world, you know that."  
  
Yea I did, sorry, I was just...  
  
"It's ok." A new voice rang out.  
  
Yuffie?!  
  
"Hey kid."  
  
Wow.  
  
"Yea, I just came to tell you guys that dinner is now being served."  
  
"As long as you weren't cooking it." Leon said.  
  
Yuffie smiled.  
  
I had always known there was something between the two, but it had looks as if it had grown over these last few years.  
  
It reminds me of Kairi.  
  
Leon and I followed Yuffie to a huge table where all kinds of foods were spread out.  
  
"So Sora, what do you plan on doing when you better?" Leon asked, his mouth full.  
  
I'm going back to the forbidden village, I'm going to go back to Kairi.  
  
"What?" Leon looked shocked, I wasn't sure why. "You can't do that, they'll kill you!"  
  
Look, I'm willing to sacrifice everything to get back to her. I meant it, but I really couldn't do anything about it now. I was full, yet very tired.  
  
"Sora, I'll take you to your room."  
  
I nodded my head lightly and attempted once again to stand on my own, but only fell backward. Leon grabbed my arm and pulled me to my room.  
  
"You're a total mess kid." Was Leon's last words to me, before I passed out.  
~*~*~**~*~**~*~**~**~*~**~*~**~**~*~**~*~*~**~**~*~**~*~~*~*~**~*~*  
Crimson- *Hugs Sora* Yay, you're ok!!!  
  
Hiei- *Attempts to murder Sora.*  
  
Kurama- Hiei!  
  
Kairi- Review!!! 


End file.
